dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Bring me that man meat
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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