Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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