shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
