You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
