whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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