I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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