New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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