I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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