im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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