I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
