I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
