I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
