I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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