How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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