who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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