are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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