Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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