there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
