We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
be right there i have to get my cape
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
