btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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