roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
