you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
