the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
