ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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