Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
