Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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