So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
