I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
