You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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