I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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