when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
