If that was your dad, he is hot
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
