my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
