I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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