The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
