She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We got so high we made milksteak
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
