we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
