He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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