laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i love accidental penises.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
