addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
