I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
