hotel room ftw
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
