She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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