he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
