He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am mentally ready for anal.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
