i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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