you lied. pity sex is amazing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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