My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
