Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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