should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
