K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
